Magnetic Pages Article | 1992-09-02 | 3KB | 43 lines
MPARTICLE
l# Nigel Short versus Garry Kasparov.
" CHESS WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS 1994.
! Expert analysis by YLHGAHOMM.
Game 13.
! By this stage of the match, with
Nigel losing 4-8, he decided to"utilise a more defensive strategy.!Playing with the white pieces, he"opened with a variation of the Tin"Snuffbox opening. Once he had done%this, he flicked snuff into Garrys#face, producing a sneezing fit from#the world champion. Sadly, the game$was not awarded to Short by default,#but the Soviet champion merely blew
his nose and carried on.
1. Pawn to Kings bishop four.
% This was an extremely agressive move"by Short. Kasparov looked slightly#aghast, but belched, then scratched"his left eyebrow before turning on
his Sega Game Gear, and playing"Crystal Warriors for half an hour.#Nigel went to the toilet for a poo.
...Garrys Queen to Nigels pocket
pretty damn sneakily.
Since the world champion was so involved in his Crystal Warriors%game, this move by Nigel was a pretty good one. The real test would be%seeing if Garry would actually notice$the loss of one of his major pieces.
#2. Garrys finger to reset button on
Game Gear.
# This would be the turning point in
the match, or would it?
!...Bishop takes White rook on B1.
$ Oh.. This is excellent. It shows us#a lot about the two players. We see%that Kasparov has noticed that Nigels"Rook was on the wrong square. This%illegal move proves that both players%are prepared to cheat in order to win
this match.
3. Nigels thumb to Nigels mouth.
This somewhat submissive move!redresses the balance of power in"this game. It also allows Nigel to$pick a piece of Corned Beef out from"between two of his teeth. How will
Kasparov reply ?
...Kasparovs dental assistant to
Nigels aid.
This is a very sporting move.
especially as Kasparovs dental$assistant is the famous Russian page
three model, busty Maria
Vanleskianokov.
4. Nigels left hand to dental
assistants buttock.
This is a forward move. Nigel#attempts to pull the assistant onto"him so they can 'Get it on' in the%middle of the thirteenth game of this
series.
"...Nigels Queen, Bishops, Knights,#Pawns, offensive tie collection and#wife to either a) Kasparovs plastic!bag beside the table, or b) Janet$Jacksons seaside apartment in Miami.
5. Short resigns.
% Oh. That is a turn up for the books.
Kasparovs gamble paid off.#Introducing the dental assistant at"such a vital stage was a stroke of
genius.
...All three go off for a three-in-a-bed romp backstage. A%fitting end to a highly tactical game
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